![]() They also apparently have a high threshold for physical and psychological pain, making them clearly perfect candidates for The Amazing Race, Survivor, or working for Naomi Campbell. ![]() Despite not having any cool X-Men names as of yet, The Sleepless Elite tend to be on the thin side on account of having fast metabolisms, and while they might indulge in a morning coffee for the sake of ritual, they don’t require caffeine to kickstart their day or fix sleep hangovers. How do you know if you’re one of them? Well, did you invent Twitter? Not to worry - there are other signs. ![]() If we’d been worried about the 1% taking all the wealth, we should have been worried about the secret 2% of sleep deprivation wizards maxing life out to the fullest and ruling countries, running Fortune 500s, and inventing the next big tech craze in the process. The Wall Street Journal‘s Melinda Beck dubbed this group of fatigue immune superhumans “The Sleepless Elite,” in part because many of its self-proclaimed members are highly successful people. Think of all you could get done! Or at least how much E! Entertainment you could watch. ![]() We might not have figured out immortality just yet (frozen heads be damned!), but if you can get by on 5 hours of sleep a night, that adds up to about 18 years of consciousness by the time you’re 80. But - hidden amongst the zombies of morning elevator rides and packed subways - is the mystical “Sleepless Elite” - an exclusive group of people who make up somewhere between 1% and 3% of the population and only require a few hours of shut-eye a night. Being sleep deprived is just a way of life, and we’ve got the eye creams to cover it up. Venti-sized Starbucks look more like Big Gulps in disguise these days than anything the average North American would have deemed a reasonable morning pick-me-up just a few decades ago. Not me! I love sleeping! I’m sleeping right now! Zzzzzz.ĭo say: “Elite sleepers might cure dementia.”ĭon’t say: “But that doesn’t make them any less obnoxious.“We might not have figured out immortality just yet, but if you get by on 5 hours of sleep a night, that adds up to about 18 extra years of consciousness by the time you’re 80” It’s too late, you can’t pretend you’re not an elite sleeper now. Wow, is that the time? I really ought to be off.ĭonald Trump. There’s one more name on the elite sleeping list. Wasn’t he accused of being a bully and torturing animals? Yes, but look at all he achieved in his life, despite his poor record of decency. Yes, but sadly she did develop dementia in later years.Īnd inventor Thomas Edison was also an elite sleeper. It says that Margaret Thatcher barely slept at night. I’m just Googling famous examples of elite sleepers … No, you don’t have to do that. Don’t you see, we’re saving you! We’re the best of us! This is great news! It means that science has started to home in on specific genes that can prevent dementia, and this may well lead to more effective dementia treatment in the future. Wait, what? DEC2 and NPSR1 are linked with a slower buildup of amyloid plaques, and a reduction in “tau pathology”, both of which are linked to dementia. Most people, if they get less than six hours of sleep a night, are at increased risk of cognitive decline. The University of California, San Francisco has looked into it, and identified my ability to exist without sleep as mutations in the genes DEC2 and NPSR1. If it helps, I’m only an elite sleeper because of a fluke of genetics. Incidentally, would you like a cookie?ĭid you make them? At 3am this morning, bright eyed and bushy-tailed. Approximately 3% of us are classified as “familial natural short sleepers”, which means we can wake up long before dawn and get on with our day. An elite sleeper is someone who needs less than six hours’ sleep a night. I’m an elite sleeper, in that I never get out of bed. Oh God, what now? This is a time for wild celebration! Science has just proved that so-called “elite sleepers” are less likely to develop dementia. Appearance: Currently even smugger than usual.
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